I just got informed that I have HSV and I'm devastated

Dear DWH:

I just got informed that I have HSV and I'm devastated. I feel like it's over. I see all the stories about people being in commited relationships… but what if you are not? How do you tell the people you casually slept with before you knew you had it? I feel like it is the end of the world. If you have any good tips please let me know. I can't take this.

Heartbroken

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Dear Heartbroken:

It's very normal to feel the way you do right after finding out that you have genital herpes. But remember - this is the worst of it, and you will feel better after some time has passed and after you learn the real facts about genital herpes. Here's what you should do right away:

#1: Get Support Immediately! There are a number of support resources for people with herpes, both regional and national. Call the National Herpes Hotline, and join a regional or national herpes support or social group, and TALK TO PEOPLE who already have this and have been living and dating with it for a while and know what you have been going through. You will feel so much better after talking to people who are in the same boat and know more than you about what you can do.

National Herpes Hotline: 919-361-8488

Picking Up the Pieces Yahoo Group – Online Support for HSV and HPV
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PickingUpThePieces/

Join your local regional herpes social or support group. Listing can be found at http://www.datingwithherpes.org/herpessocialandherpessupportgroups/

#2: Get educated about the real facts about genital herpes! Herpes is extremely common and very manageable. There are lots of things that you can do to reduce the frequency and intensity of any symptoms, and things you can do to dramatically reduce your risk of spreading it to your partner(s). A lot of this information is available at DatingWithHerpes.org - http://www.datingwithherpes.org. Read through all of the information on this site, and then check out the Links section and go to other websites for even more information.

http://www.datingwithherpes.org

#3: Don't buy into the stigma. You are not a bad person or a dirty person just because you have genital herpes. About 25% of adults in the US have genital herpes. That's tens of millions of people. You are not alone! The fact is, however, that most doctors don't include the test for herpes even when they are testing patients for other common STD's. And since most people who have genital herpes have no noticeable symptoms, or their symptoms are mild and infrequent, they honestly *think* they are *clean*, even when that's not the case. Even without symptoms, herpes can be passed between partners. There are millions of people out there who have herpes and don't know it,  who are having casual sex, and not using protection, and who are putting themselves and their partners at risk for acquiring one or more STD's. You are no better nor worse than other people just because you have genital herpes. And maybe now, you'll have the chance to help educate others about this very common virus that they may already have and not even know it.

Lastly, for tips for "Telling Someone" that you have genital herpes, including how to notify previous partners that they might have been exposed to herpes, go to:
http://www.datingwithherpes.org/tellingsomeone/

Good luck!

DWH