Dear DWH:
Now that I have been diagnosed with herpes, I am concerned about spreading it to people I might date. Are there any online dating services for people with herpes, where I can meet people who already have what I have, and not worry about having "the talk" or spreading it to someone?
Ready to Date
Dear Ready to Date:
Yes, there are several places you can go online (and offline) to meet other people who have herpes for dating, or socializing and support. Most larger cities in the USA have active social groups for people with herpes who live in and around their city. Joining a local H social group is a great way to meet people who are nice, normal people, just like you, who also happen to have HSV1 or HSV2. Most of these groups offer social events where people can meet each other in a friendly, supportive, fun atmosphere. Not everyone is single or looking for people to date - but many people do meet and date through these groups. There is a list of regional H social groups at the Dating With Herpes website at http://www.datingwithherpes.org.
However, if you are primarily interested in meeting people to date, there are several websites devoted exclusively to people with Herpes and other STD's. The largest of these is Positivesingles.com. Many other websites are listed with descriptions and pricing info at http://www.datingwithherpes.org/herpesdatingonline.htm
Keep in mind that the larger dating websites may be more expensive, but may have more active members than some of the smaller, less expensive dating websites. Most offer a free trial membership period - or free "limited" memberships that allow you to post a profile. But if you want to be able to send a note to other members, you need to upgrade to a paid membership.
Not everyone with herpes feels like they should only date other people with herpes. Many people do date non-infected people and take precautions to help prevent transmission. Everyone's experience with herpes is different - many people have herpes but display no symptoms, while others have serious and frequent outbreaks. Your personal experience with herpes generally colors your choices about whom to date. The main thing that most people agree on - is that it's absolutely mandatory to inform your partners about your HSV status BEFORE you have intimate contact, so that the other person can make an informed choice before deciding to have sex with you. Being honest is always the best policy.
Whatever you choose to do, good luck! And again, more information on Dating with Herpes and Online Dating Services for people with herpes can be found at: http://www.datingwithherpes.org/herpesdatingonline.htm
DWH
